While writing my doctoral dissertation, Adoption Separation Trauma: Journey from the Womb, I discovered the writings of adoption author and world lecturer Nancy Verrier. I have found her books, Primal Wound and Coming Home to Self to be breakthrough information for all those involved in adoption. Her second book includes the current research on the effects of early environmental influence upon the brain's wiring and translates that research to effects on adoptees and their families. Her work makes complex research easy to understand, and it has been extremely helpful to many people.
I continue to keep contact with her and am delighted to be Nancy's REFERRAL SOURCE for SO. CALIF.
Imagine hearing your family discussing how cousin Cathy has grandma's nose, or all the boys in the family have a history of late growth surge and are 6 feet. tall. As an adoptee, these seemingly innocent comments may leave you feeling very isolated. Working through the confusion about identity is a part of the process of the adoptee experience. Sometimes this process is internal and what is seen is the good child meeting all expectations. Sometimes this process is external and what is seen is the rebellious child who will not meet expectations. Neither may be working through the inside emotional work of grieving what feels like loss that is necessary to be a true self.
What really is the effect on a baby of mother's voice being different from the one she heard in the womb?
What if as a parent you find it difficult to soothe your adopted baby and feel that you must be a failure as a mother?
What is it like for a birth mother to deal with the physical, emotional, and societal post-partum effects?
How does an adoptive parent grieve the loss of the birth child they will never have?
How does a birth parent grieve the loss of being a parent to the child you birthed?
I have extensive experience in working with all individuals involved in an adoption triad. I believe each member of the triad begins with a unique perspective, all hoping for the best and most loving experience possible. But understanding the complexities of each perspective is difficult, and adoption can have the effects of long-term trauma. I have built a reputation on working through the complexities that arise from the individual's understanding of the adoption experience.
I bring you the most up-to-date resources--links, sites, and opinions on the adoption experience--in My Adoption Blog.
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